Painful Reality

Look down and be ashamed of me
Sitting here useless under clouds of my evaporated strength
Hope fell to the ground through tears that didn't help much of anything
And I'm missing you for not much of any reason at all.

Dreading the days I need to be with you
Hold you and whisper through your ears "Happy Birthday"
And just to be with you, I would kill for that,
But I can't do much besides whisper to you and hope they pass through heavens gates
And reality, it kills me.

And I never thought I could feel so much at once
And not break down just lose the strength I'm known for
And hope it will come back someday before reality kills me completely
And the life in me disappears.