Use grammer..l.ike commas and such to add dramma and effect your words..wit hthis peom it woudl eb perfect..lalso use line breaks and seperate lines...to add more emotion....wow this poem is BRILLIANTTTT.

by the way people who dis you were your brother are nto too good for you....your too good for them...cuz they didnt kno wha they had..they needed sumthn else and thats jus a fact not an insutl.

also amzming detil which rly made this poem come alive excellent controlling metaphors!!!

lissa