What Do You See....?

by Frenesiia   Jul 1, 2006


What do you see
When you look at me
Is it someone who is suppose to b happy
Is it someone who is never unhappy
Nope,

Its somewho who misunderstood
Its someone who grew up in the "hood"
Some who never had any money
And im not being funny
Someone who has been from hell to worse
Its seems as if im under a cruse

So i move away to b anyone i wanna b
Some place where i can be free
I put on a smile
And a lil makeup
To make it seem as if im worthwhile

And now im standing here today
And you think your gonna judge me
You cant ive been each and every way
You say this isnt me and im better then this
W/e you dont no me
But you still standin in my face as u disagree

You just dont see do you?
Im as fake as the smile i put on everyday
Im as fake as the person i tried to be today
I cant be real
All the shit that ive been through u just couldnt deal with

No one could possible understand
And everyone always trys to put out a helping hand
But its not enough to pull me out of this world
So just leave if u cant except the person i tell u i am
So tell me now...

What do you see
When you look at me?
It is me trying to me happy
Or is it me trying to be accepted?
What do you see
When you look at me?...........

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    To start with I'd spell check!

  • 18 years ago

    by Laura

    There is a lot of raw emotion you are expressing in with your words.
    This poem is deep and well written however you may want to check your spelling as some words are spelled incorrectly...ie: i think you meant curse in the second stanza...
    Also the stanzas are not the same lentgh and i feel it interrupts the flow a lil...as well as in some stanzas you end in rhymes while others you don't.
    The only other thing I noticed is that at the beginning of your lines you use alot of "you" and "and" I feel that also interrupts the flow.

    Forthis stanza:
    And now im standing here today
    And you think your gonna judge me
    You cant ive been each and every way
    You say this isnt me and im better then this
    W/e you dont no me
    But you still standin in my face as u disagree

    maybe you could try something like...

    Now i amm standing here today
    Thinking that your gonna judge me
    Impossible ive been each and every way
    Claiming this isnt me and im better then this
    Standin in my face as u disagree

    just give you some suggestions...i hope i have been able to create more ideas for you after you read this.
    Witha few minor changes this could be a flawless write!!
    Please keep in mind these are only my opinion and suggestions.
    All in all it was a good read...4/5!

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