I liked it, but instead of writing in a big paragraph or block, split it up into stanza's, it will make it easier to read
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Well I see someone already told you about the stanza's which is good advice. I would say its kind of hard to read and understand at 1st because of the spelling and grammar, but after taking sometime I understood it and I think it is very sweet=) A nice feeling through out the poem, which is good. Well I wish I could be of more help=) But I'm all out.

~+Megan+~