Disfigured

I see them looking
I feel their stare
but tell me why
should I even care?

I hate the feeling
of being so odd
I wish that I was
more like a rod

my younger years
I did not eat
and now I suffer
with extra meat

everyone says that
i'm all so small
but with nothing on
I slowly fall

my stomach is flab
and not so flat
my hips are huge
I feel so fat

no matter what
I try to do
it will not change
not even for you

I work out on
and on again
but extra skin
you can't defend

I thought about surgery
a tummy tuck
but for that I don't
have one little buck

we go for a swim
my shirt stays on
every single night
a star I wish upon

just to beable to
have a perfect shape
to openingly show my body
even on tape

my boyfriend seems to get
so upset and mad
but he doesn't understand
it hurts me just as bad

there's nothing I can do
nothing more to say
I try so hard to believe
tomorrow's a better day