Mommy, when will it end?

by Shannon   Jul 3, 2006


Custody of Brianna is what they
are fighting for
My Mommy moved away and that opened this door

Mommy wants you, Daddy wants you
Yet all this mess just makes me blue

I put on my brave,
at one time innocent face
Then ask Mommy each visit for an update on the case

I tell Mommy my feelings, my fears, then patiently wait
For Mommy and Daddy to close the narrow gate

I have been told the gate is wide enough for only two
I wonder every moment...
Who will I get to walk with all the way through?

Daddy always says I am doing really great
I am busy, I am happy, because I have a full plate

Can he not see the hidden sadness I hide so well?
I know what he needs to see, so I am sure not to tell

Do I love him, enjoy our big home, and all that I receive?
I do, I do, yet to think that is all I need is only to deceive

I tell Mommy it is fun to have all the things they always buy for me
I just want these things when I come up for a visit, just give me a key

I am off to visit Mommy as I pack for my plane trip
I am nervous, anxious, yet no one would know, I would rather bite my lip

Daddy says be brave, be big, it is no big deal
I wonder yet do not ask, if you were 7, how would you feel?

So I will be happy and pretend that Daddy is all I need
He programs me well, yet it is all out of greed

At one time he asked me if I were able, whom would I choose?
He did not listen because he does not want to loose

I now pretend I would rather stay with him so he does not get sad
Mommy, do not tell Daddy I said that... I do not want him to be mad

I will keep being brave, let Daddy think I need only him and all money has to offer
When I go to sleep at night, I want to be heard but cry as I continue to suffer

Daddy says mommy treats me like a baby, he tells me I need to know it all
All the drama and negative moments between their phone calls

If being a big girl means hearing Daddy talk bad about my Mommy
I would rather go back to that innocent little girl that Mommy said would always be her baby

Mommy does not do that; she allows me to love Daddy, as I know
It is refreshing and painless and allows me to feel free to glow

Please soften your heart, let go of your ego
You know in your heart where I want to go

Mommy will never keep me from you
You how much that is true

She has proven she loves me and lets me be me
Free to share all emotions I am, even when it is painful for her to see

Can I walk through that gate now and hold mommys hand?
Once we get through, can we play in the sand?

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Catherine

    I liked this poem, and I cna kinda sorta relate. Kinda sorta. My parents are divoced. I live mostly with my mom. But so do my two siblings, and they are older then me. One is a twin, once is an older brother. They both pick on me, and make me cry and be mean. They call me a baby and wimp and pathetic. So I often call ym dad for him to come get me, and take me to his house. He and my step mom are considering me moving in there. I think I want to, but I'm afraid to tell my mom. I don't want to hurt her feelings, or make her mad. But I love talkign to my dad about everything. My mom doesn't even know what I write about.

  • 18 years ago

    by goddess-glamourpuss

    Loved your poem. My parents divorced when I was 9 and this brought back many memories for me.
    The lines about having to be brave and being asked to choose are particularly apt. For me that was the hardest part.
    The longig to be with you expressed by wanting to "walk through the gate" is particularly poignant as it is so desperately sad to be kept from someone you love.
    Hope the book works well for you.
    Best wishes for you and your daughters and know that they will get through this.

  • 18 years ago

    by UnToLd TrUtH

    "If being a big girl means hearing daddy talk bad about my mommy"
    Wow i know how that feels...im 16 years old so i guess that make me a "big girl" but still to hear my talk badly about my mom, it hurts. My parents are going through a divorce right now so I can relate to this poem alot.

  • 18 years ago

    by Btw Raising Hell And Amazing Grace

    Wow that was wonderful... i am sorry for what you are going through and wish i could write something for your book but i have not been in that type of pain. i hope that your girls are being as strong as they can cause i can only imagine what they are gonig through. hope that this pain ends for you and them soon..
    holly

  • 18 years ago

    by Samantha Hollywood

    Shannon - Its me, Samantha. Just thought I`d leave a comment on this poem!

    It`s absolutely terrific how much it appears that you know your little girl. She sounds like she`s sticking this out well - you must be proud! I really admire her ability to be brave when needed, but that she`s not afraid to cry when the time is appropriate. You, on the other hand, are a terrific poet! Your rhyming and rhythem worked out really well. This poem put me in tears!!
    Thanks for everything,
    Samantha

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