Comments : Soaking Up The Rays (Haiku)

  • 18 years ago

    by Ed or Ian Henderson

    Your second sentence,
    Has but six of seven, see?
    A quick edit, now?

    :-)

  • 18 years ago

    by Cyma Khan

    Nice n sweet
    God bless u

  • 18 years ago

    by goddess-glamourpuss

    Nice. The image of a sunny beach is perfectly presented and cptures the Haiku form as it should.

  • 15 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "Hear the ocean's Breeze"

    Very vivid and I liked how you capitalized breeze.

    "And the waves at the sunny beach"

    I felt like you repeated to many "the"s, maybe reword to this:

    Dancing waves at the light beach"

    "Soaking up the rays"

    I liked this line, though I think you repeated "the" too much.

    4/5 from me, a cute haiku, take care.

    ~MaryAnne