Happiness

by Kenny Rose   Jul 4, 2006


I never knew there would be a better tomorrow,
But you've come into my life and taken away all my sorrow,
i feel so blessed.

My days of sadness are a thing of the past,
Because I have found true love at last,
this love is true from the heart,
me and you never part.

My days of emptiness are gone for good,
Because you fill a void in my heart that you should.

You've opened a window,
You've shown me the light.
And my love for you will continue to burn bright,
untill the end of time ill always be here,
keeping close so i can keep near.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by ShadowedPhoenix

    This poem is good keeping in mind it's your first poem (I think)Lol. Remember the small details is truely what makes a fantastic poem, such as diction and grammar and obviously honest and better yet raw emotion- if you truely want to captivate your reader!

    So these lines

    But you'I'vecome into my life
    *I think you are trying to put you have come into my life.* now yes it may not be something really enormous but it does break the flow and make the reader have to read it over and over to decipher what was meant.

    me and you never part.
    *I have a little suggestion maybe add a will and correctly say as well- you and I will never part!* It is more suited to the tense in which your stanza has been written.

    You'vI'vepened a window,
    You'veI'veown me the light.
    *Once again here another small error but which makes a significant difference to the readers experience,
    You have opened a window,
    You have shown me light!*

    But good poem anyways but i will not rate....yet as i feel whatever i rate will be an unfair display of my feelings of the poem, so when and if you change it please let me know and then i will be able to rate you correctly:)

    P.s Welcome to the club:)

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