It's Back

*It's long but please r/r/c- it's my birthday :)*

It's back
Days fly by
Marked only
By mealtimes
And every moment
Lasts for a lifetime
And each life
I make the same mistakes
In my bag
An apple
Bitten into and discarded
For being fattening
80 calories too much
Each day must be
A perfect zero
In my locker
A bag of food
My lunch
Enough to last me
For weeks
A nibble here
A nibble there
Sophistication
Turn it away completely
That's perfection
Friends turn away
Alarmed
By what I'm become
Again
Maths lessons
70 minutes of counting
Calories
My weight
On the scales
Up, down
The world spins around
As I forget to breathe
Looking in the mirror
As she adjusts
The image I see
Gently
It's like she's a drug
Playing with my mind
And as the days pass
I'm not
Who I used to be
My wings grow back
Clipped from shame
Each mealtime is
Glorifying
Gratifying
Terrifying
It's back
What a wonderful
Birthday present
ANOREXIA
It's back