I was wrong

I lay here awake at night wondering.
could i have been wrong?
what if i did deserve it?
what if there was no reason to run?
how could that be?
was i better off there?
at least i had somewhere to turn,
somewhere to get away.
here i am trapped.
isolation has no escape.
my perdition is whole.
will no one save me?
i'm always hiding it,
this pain i feel.
no markings anymore.
not that anyone sees.
i thought it would be better here.
and now i can't help but wonder,
why?