The Problem I Just Can't Get Rid Of

I have a problem
I can admit
I will not tell them
They would only say damn it

I pretend I'm perfect
Like I have no flaws
But I relied on one effect
I used my claws

I punish myself
For I have done so wrong
I felt like I was on a shelf
I had to sing the right song

The right song
Might not have been the best
For it was so long
And I had no time for rest

I wore myself out
All of the heartache took its toll
I started to pout
I was slowly loosing my soul

I resorted to the painful thing
The one people had warned me about
I heard its ring
I began to shout

I never realized
What it was doing to me
It took me by surprise
I fell on my knees

I wanted to beg for forgiveness
But I couldn't stop
It was my blindness
That made me chop

I don't know when I'll be through with this
Or if I will ever be
But all I know is
I have to for it is the key

The key to my world
Where I will finally be happy
I was whirled
It all ended so crappie

I used to be loved
I used to care
But I was shoved
I had nothing left to spare

So here I am left
With nothing but tears
It was like theft
That lead me to all these fears

I told one person
My biggest mistake
It began to worsen
I became so fake

I now tell her I'm done
That I am finally ok
She is the one
I had to betray

I didn't want her to worry
She must care for herself a little more
I was in a hurry
To help her with her new found title "w**re"

So I told her a lie
It was for her own good
I said I wouldn't say bye
Even though I knew I would

So this is my problem
I just can't get rid of