by Just Another Dreamer Jul 5, 2006
category :
Love, romance /
sensual love
I'm not finished with this but I'd like to see what you guys thinks so far so I know what I need to change/add. I'd appreciate the comments. Thanks |
by Vox
Will there ba a part three? |
by Henry
You have to finish it=) be a shame to not finish this great work of art it be like that george washington pic that never got finished being painted |
by dandy
Aww that's so sweet. Make sure he treats you right....Can't wait for the rest! |
by Jesse Miller
What your doing is more story telling, only the words rhyme in this book. I don't know if you ment to make it so long but you could of sumed up all of it in 1/3 the senenses. What makes a poem is that they get all the feeling at once in the 1/3 of your poem instead of drawn out emotion. you want to hit em with everything you got in a sudden burst and leave them breathless. I'm not one to talk I'm just trying to be helpful sorry if it sounds anything other than a helpful critique. The sylabals in the lines are too different which throws the flow of the poems off alsto. But critisism aside I like your feeling and your ability to tell a story. I can almost see it myself... I'm impressed |
Plz for the love of god finish it ill be going crazy until you do i love so much so far!! plz read and comment on some of mine i like ur style and i would greatly appreciate it |