Strangely this sounds like it could be lyrics....in a way. Not sure what to say except that it was way different than anything that I've read in awhile. Loved the lines about the jackyl though. Thought that had a strong impact. Of course some shaky words/flow in the beginning but it managed to smooth out to a really cool ending. Enjoyed what this was.
~Faith-less

I totally agree with the above: there is a strong lyrical element to this which I found very powerful.

I particularly liked this line:
"In the eye of the earth I see a mother's fearful watch unto her homocidal child"

it should be "homicidal" but that's just nit-picking. I don't know how you intended it to be interpreted but it really did remind me of the ecological issues mankind faces in modern society.

I am really impressed with this, and I am rarely impressed.