I have to..

I have to put a smile on my face for you. I have to act like im ready to start over new. I have to act like I dont care. I have to do things that I cannot bare. I have to act like im someone else to make you feel bad. But when really deep inside all I\'m doing is making myself sad. I try and make you think that I\'m O.K. But you really changed my life that day. If you didnt know I was crying on the other side of the phone. Right when you said thoes words I felt so alone. You were the only man that I can say was ever there.. But you couldnt always be there it just wouldnt be fair. You say your not out to get me but thats just what you want to do. I ask myself wut should I do?