I'm not the little girl you think I am

Seeing your blue eyes made me weak at the knees, your smile made me want to live but I messed up, I made a mistake like always, but this time everything is done, gone nothing left but broken glass and a lost dream I knew would ever come true, all in all I lost, I lost my touch, my soul, my everything, I forgot what to do when I was around you, became shy something I never was before, I wanted to make you happy, with yourself and me, but I was too out of touch to touch you and maybe to tough to show it, now laying here looking at your picture it makes me want to cry but I bit my lip and rip it up instead, to find myself putting back together in the end, I can't change how I feel about you, how I have tried so many times, for you are the reason I always go for second best never getting first because it's you that is my first choice, the choice I want to be my only but the tears say move on, you never had him and you never will so I'll hold my tongue around you and everyone else, no feelings for you I will show, no wasting my time trying to see if you care for me, I know now that you don't and that I can't change that and only in my dreams you ever will. I have grown up since I met you I hope you will see someday, now standing on my own feet nervous that you will shut me down again I decide to try and look you in the eyes and say I'm sorry, I'm sorry I ever met you and that I ever showed feelings for you, I look back at when we met and I knew from the start I didn't want to fall for you, I knew I would hit the rocks hard but at the time I didn't know it would hurt so much and I wouldn't get up for so long, ruin the relationship I have by fooling around with you, the memories I have with you will stay with me for sometime, as I try to move on and forget what happened with you, maybe they will fade away in my head maybe hopefully I will get though it all and show you I'm not the little girl you think I am

Copyright © Kelsey
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