Its really sweet, you start to lose your rhythm the further in you get. Still very nice. 1 mistake i found.

but my heart is just to weak

Should be 'but my heart is just too weak'

Apart from that, very good. Hope my feedback helped.

Its really sweet, you start to lose your rhythm the further in you get. Still very nice. 1 mistake i found.

but my heart is just to weak

Should be 'but my heart is just too weak'

Apart from that, very good. Hope my feedback helped.

Dang..that was good...I loved it...especially the ending...it's very good...one of my favorites...yeah I can't wait to read more....lataz

Robert.

Awwwwwwwwww Jocy! so sweet, too sweet for words. *hugs* You hold a very passionate heart within you, an dthats a great tool for a poet

keep it up and keep smiling.

Love yeh
Jenn