Sick of Trying

I'm scared to death
But I'm not scared of dying
I'm just so sick of trying

So i pretend not to care
& continue to tear
my flesh w/ the razor
& avoid the laser
eyes that could catch
the scars that i etched
to make the pain numb
i waited for blood to come
& slowly forgot
what made me distraught
the feelings inside
that i constantly hide
conceal my cries
w/ empty eyes
& watch the world turn cold
w/ my life on hold

I'm scared to death
But I'm not scared of dying
I'm just so sick of trying