My screwed up life

I have screwed up my only chance at life.
i have caused so much pain and strife.
i did it all for you because i love you.
i now sit here wondering if you have a clue.
we are just friends but i still want to be more.
because in the end it is you i adore.
i remember the day you left me in the rain.
because it was the beginning of all my pain.
now i cry myself to sleep every night.
i always wonder if you will come back to the light.
i know why you had to go and do what you did to me.
but in my heart and on my mind you will always be.
i have always loved you and i still do.
i will only say i wish that i was still with you.
because i am still in love with you.