Comments : How?

  • 15 years ago

    by Sumit Ojha

    Good poem :)

    I like it

  • 15 years ago

    by Teria

    "but o how I long for your touch,"
    - o = oh

    "I long for are first kiss,"
    NOTE:
    (ARE) is used as we are, they are, you are.
    (OUR) is used as our house, our home, our love, OUR FIRST KISS.

    "I wait for the time when are lips first hit,"
    - Renote the noted above in this line as well

    "o what rapture, o what bliss,"
    o = oh (x2)

    "each and every time that we are apart,"
    - EXAMPLE: are is used correctly here. (:

    I'd suggest stanzas and question marks where they belong. By stanzas I mean separating the poem into 'chunks' in order to help it flow a bit more. Instead of all together I think it would work in 2 or 3, maybe even 4 (but that's not so likely). By question marks I mean when you're asking the questions how and such, at the end instead of a comma use a question mark.

    Good poem. Great emotion. Very relatable. Needs work, but it's well written.