Well said, whomever gave you a 4 is a meanie =], though you do need some puncuation ...*spelling is worng I know sue me* Lol, and you need to capitalize your "I"s other then that kudos to you Jaky ^_^

Keep it up

Nice poem... You expressed yourself very well... Nice work!

Some nice descriptions. Overall something cool. A little bit of a flow problem. But it's something different and cool.
~Faith-less

Beautiful job. I liked the torn wings part. Great imagery. You may want to check your spelling again.