Love Hurts

by Shawna   Jul 10, 2006


Here's another poem I wrote when I was 15-16.

**LOVE HURTS**

A mind overruled by sin
Hidden by a foolish grin
Of broken hearts and fears
And an angels innocent tears
A life once lived now lost
A broken hearts the cost
Hidden in shadows of shame
She will never be the same
Right is won over by wrong
As she takes hold of the bong
A world corrupted with hat
She falls into the depths of fate
Now like a child she stands alone
With tears of love she has shown
Now no one can save her soul
Now she will no longer glow
The only love she's known is pain
And will it ever cease to rain
With demented thoughts and crazy dreams
Everyone will hear her screams
As slowly she will slip away
She has only one thing left to say
Love Hurts!!

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Sole

    Great poem. I really enjoyed reading it. Just a fewl lines seemed out of place.

    As she takes hold of the bong

    This line really doesn't fit in with the rest of the poem, and it makes little sense. It just sounds like you're deperately trying to rhyme and you can't find a word.

    Also,

    A world corrupted with hat

    hate should have an e on the end . . .

    Then there was,

    With demented thoughts and crazy dreams

    I thought this was the best line of the poem, it really worked and brought emotion to your poetry. Nice.

    Peace. [Sole]

  • 18 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    I agree totally with darien. I think this poem could be improved, but for a poem by a 15-16 year old, it is really awesome
    keep it up my friend
    xxxxxxxxx

  • 18 years ago

    by Darien

    Not bad for teenage poetry. Love doesn't really hurt, that's infatuation and lust. Love heals. Good poem though ;)

  • 18 years ago

    by jamie ellen

    There are a few things that could be improved but over all I thought it was well written

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