The Call

by ShhhhItsASecret©   Jul 10, 2006


Pulling some pallets to the back,
I hear there is a call for me.
I take line one and answer it,
And find out that it's Melonie.

With sniffles in between her words,
She's called to say my mom is dead.
I tell her that she is lying,
I can't believe what she has said.

"I really wish I was, Brandy,
But it is true. Our mom has drowned."
I suddenly become so stiff,
And shut out every single sound.

I tell her that I have to go,
I need to take in what I've heard.
With tears now running down my cheek,
I keep thinking this is absurd.

My mother simply can't be dead.
She has so many things to do.
She is not ready to die yet!
Please tell me that this is not true!!

© 2006 Brandy Dorr

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Nanita

    Aww, dats so sad.. i started to tear up!!.
    its really good, sad but good.

  • 16 years ago

    by Christina

    Wow thats a rele sad poem! plz comment my poems too if u ever read them!

  • 18 years ago

    by xxEvilAngelxx

    This poem has some strong emotion behind it but the reader doesn't feel the pain, disbelief, and sorrow. I say the true statement that everyone says "show, don't tell". The flow is awkward in places, for example: "With tears now running down my cheek,
    I keep thinking this is absurd." Also, i would suggest expanding the vocabulary and using a variety of words. With some work, this poem could turn out amazing! Good luck!

    xxEvilAngelxx

  • 18 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    Wow that is very well written. The flow and the structure was great. Please tell me this is not true, and if it is I am truely sorry for you loss. Amazing write, it was filled with emotion.

    Peace, Joe

  • 18 years ago

    by Goran Rahim

    So many times ppl had asked me who is the person you love the most? I always said MY MOM, then I saw it is not just me but for everyone mim is the greatest. In this poem I think you really successed to put down your great emotion. It made me cry.
    great job and 5/5

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