This doesn't really have a very poetic flow. Especially the second stanza. But it's so refreshing to see something upbeat on here. And I do feel you have the topic and the material to get a good rhythm and even rhyme going here!

Again, thank you Ed for your honesty regarding my poem. I am new to this, but I really am enjoying writing about people that have held a special place in my heart, so I thank you for commenting.

I would partly agree with Ed, that the flow is kind of hard to find in this poem, and while i was reading it i was trying to find it. but this poem is really refreshing as well. unique topic and it's really cute at the end as well. also i read that your new at this and it didn't seem you have many poems, so you'll probably be able to find the flow in your poetry with time. just keep up the practice and you'll get there as you learn the do's and don'ts of poetry!

glad to hear you like writing!

~Jacklyn

Aw. This poem brings me back to the days when we lived in our old house which had raspberry bushes behind the shed. I would go out all the time with my dad and brother in the summer time and eat away! The title alone brings back the memory of what they taste like. This poem may not have had a poetic flow, but the descriptions were good and it brought me back to the good old days as a child!
Take Care and God Bless,
Sarah-Joy

Mm, raspberries.... warm nostalgic feelings, and i'm still pretty dang young. i liked the second stanza, actually. maybe if there was a way to add on a third one in the same scheme as the first, that would sort of balance it out. but i like the subject matter : ) a yummy poem