When?

When can I come back into focus?
I wonder every second of my life.
Come to find out, I've never been in focus.

The times I've cried.
The times I've bled.

When you turned your head as i tried to tell you my thoughts.
From the time you walked away till the time I made a death bed.

My mind is full of expressions full of moods full of despair.

From what i remember I was always away from myself, always irrefutable to myself.

You lied to me
You pretended to comfort me.

The day of your deliverance,
came a life time of horifications.

A time of acceptance,
A minute of hearing,
An hour of talking,
A day of believe,
A year of trust,
A life of torture.

The moment of death,
The moment of welcome.

The sadness in tear
A madness in blood.

Makes all seem wonder how good could come about words, thoughts, actions, life?