Anymore

Nothing I do makes sense anymore,
None of it makes a difference,
I seem to fight so very hard,
But at the end,
It's all the same.
Who do I think I am,
Today, those days when I read and write,
The days I get up earlier,
The self-defense classes I take to learn to fight.
Nothing I do makes sense anymore,
The clock says so anyway,
I feel that I trip and fall,
On my up-hill way.
Nothing I do makes you smile anymore,
Though I painted my face like a clown.
I'll wait around for another while,
Though,
But then I'm going down.