She thought why couldn't she have seen it coming she felt it. She had dreams the night before. But nothing could change the fact that what she had heard changed everything. He had lied once again, hoping that she wouldn't find out about his many lies. She knew him like the back of her hand and for her to flip it around she knew when he was lying. This time he was lying. Today she thought was the worst day of her life. Happy Valentines Day she told her self.
With all these deep emotions poring out of her like a rushing river, she could only see that she was hurt. That she didn't want to love again, and that she was done trying to be perfect. . I mean as we speak she could have been alright now, if she had left him alone. If she could have seen in the future she'd had never of touched him. She would have stayed alone, but you can't see in the future and you can't change the past. So she was left standing on one foot, hoping to stand up fully again.
Come on this is the basic story for a teen right? We fall in "love" and get our hearts broken again and again. But it just wasn't the love part it was the living part. She didn't have those great friends anymore. She had moved and didn't ever take the time to make that "best friend". And if she had she was afraid that they would turn her. She was so scared about that but never worried about her heart. Or did she?
She knew when she took him back the 3rd time that it was a risk. That was something that she wanted to do. Not now, she never wanted to do it again. She never wanted to fall into his trap again. She never wanted to hear his heart beat, more or less she wished it would stop. That would have killed her more than it would killed him his self. She wouldn't hurt him if her life depend upon it. She would have jumped off a bridge before hurting him.
He had made her that way. He wanted her to be lonely and to never be able to move on. She wanted to put her foot down, wanted to put a stop to it. It would take something deep down within her to turn him away. She wasn't sure she had that in her to do that. Well she knew she didn't.
So she was back to nothing. Nothing at all, and that wasn't a fresh start either. She planed on trying to focus on one thing, and only that one thing. She didn't want to go on. Staying home in a dark corner with a sharp ended object sounded good. Why do that, it wouldn't show anything right? She did it though. Her thoughts rushed in and out of her head. Was it something she did? Was it something some one had said to him? Or did he just have that urge. She couldn't let him know she hurt after what happened. He feed off of that. She kept to her self, and focused on starting over.
The next day wasn't as hard as she thought it would be. She cried a few tears but nothing unexpected. She planed for the worse and hoped for the best. I guess you could see the tears her eyes, or maybe people just got a vibe off of her, that she was hurt. Or maybe she already had a different out look on life. She tried to keep her head up and still had pride.
She wished that life made a map or something along those lines. She thought someone needed to invent a pill for heart ach. But even so, she wouldn't have taken the pills because some how the pain let her know she was alive. She wished that she didn't even feel anything, that she didn't know what emotions were. You always tend to want something you can't have. Cause the tin man wanted a heart while she would greatly give him what was left of hers.
Each day she woke up, and wondered why she was still here. She knew deep down that she had a reason for living but right now it didn't feel like that at all. It felt like she was dieing inside. Like her insides had been striped bare. She knew not to give in on this fight. She'd find her self okay sooner or later. Till then she had to live.
Who was she to run to? Remember all her friends had told her not to mess with him again. They knew her heart was going to break before she ever knew. She just should have of listened to them. Still were would she had been? She would have still wanted to be held in his arms one more time. To hear his heart beat one last time. That left her with her last time in his arms, one last kiss one last heart beat for her to hear. Just maybe that would satisfy her.
