Hey..ya know what...poems don't have to rhyme...and guess what else...I liked this...It actually reminded me of slam poetry..ever heard of it? Probably not its hard to explain but when you read it (kinda like this) you really exagerate your poem..I liked how anger jumped off the page when I read this..I thought it was good Nelle!!

Great display of raw emotion. It's very powerful. I think it would be great if you could work it into more of a poem without loosing any emotion. It's just a suggestion- it's good right now. Nice job.

Yeah, this really doesn't seem to have any rhythm, which makes it prose more than a poem. I get your angry though. You definately got that message through.

I'd suggest working on the flow, and actually turning it into a poem. lol.

I like how you used caps to emphasize the word 'stop'. Original.

x

Am I reading the same poem as everyone else? I mean no disrespect, but you did ask for comments, so I will do.

This has no discernible structure to it. Some may call it "freeform" but to me it looks like a directionless rant that, as you put it, NEEDED to be said.

But not here.

I am with Lorraine: It is a good display of raw emotion, and if you were writing a play and had this as a monologue I would hold my breath to its completion. But it's NOT poetry, and yet it COULD be.

That's my honest opinion: you could do a lot with this. But as it stands it just doesn't cut the mustard. Sorry.

Yeah your right it is not that great but sometimes you just need to vent. I think if you thought about this and worked with it you could form it into another nice poem but right now it seems like a mess.
rewrite it and I'm sure it will become a great poem.

~~Retniapdoolb

Wow i rly like this i can rly relate this is rly good. keep up the awesome work 5/5