I Still Believe

Look at my life
Tell me what you see
I've hit the bottom
But I still believe

I've seen the lowest of the low
I've reached a sadness you can't explain
And even when I break and cry
I know there's shelter from the pain

I've marked my arms so many times
So you might find this odd
Even though I suffer
I still believe in God

My arms are scarred and tattered
But they're better than before
I got the push I needed
And I knew I needed more

I used to go to church
And sit there in the pew
Blaming God for everything
He was making me go through

I used to blame Him for
The drama and the pain
When the others pulled me into it
I'd turn away in shame

I blamed Him when it was me
Who allowed myself to sulk
I would scream and yell at Him
And say it was all His fault

And yet now everything feels OK
For I saw what I had done
I pushed away my loving God
It wasn't him but I who had shunned

I left the church that caused me pain
I don't care anymore about depression
Even though I still have it
I won't be another possession

The wounds of my arms have faded
Only scars now remain
I let God back into my heart
And I refuse to let go again

Now you've seen my life
You've seen all there is to see
And even if I fall again
I will still believe.