Displayed Hatred[eating disorder]

Im trying; I hate to see what Ive become,
The fingers in my throat, the body becoming numb,

The mirrors distorted image has become sacred to me,
I look at myself in hate; this is not what I sought to be,

I stare into my hollow eyes, with a glare of disgust,
This is my addiction, the only means in which I trust,

I poke at my stomach, with nothing but sickened thoughts,
Ive strived to be skinny, but as you see, I am not,

The fat on my bones sickens me, I am a failure,
I am the girl staring back at me, and I hate her,

I poke and prod myself, until I have found the perfect shape,
I tried to eat today, that was a mistake,

The tears roll down my cheek, I have not achieved my goal,
I hate what I have become, I have lost control,

The gashes on my throat remind me that this is just another day,
I have not changed myself, and now my hatred is on display,

I will hurt myself, until I see thin beauty,
I can not stare at this image any more, I hate me.