Depression dipped in death

Today i said goodbye
goodbye to a beautiful women
we had her wake
we remembered her life

to do this i had to face him
my dad the man i hate
he half heartedly hugged me
and that was it

as i sat in the room alone
i felt completely ignored
i cried silent tears inside
and longed to be hugged

as the night progressed
i disappeared into my shell
sat silently and still
listening to the speeches

my brother had too much to drink
wondered the streets alone
came back with tears in his eyes
got angry and went to bed

my dad yelled harsh words
my step mum joined in
i had to leave, couldn't stay
so i left, with my mum

she was too angry to talk
caught up in her own world
didn't have the strength
to be there for her little girl

so as i sat in the car i cried
looked out the window
and continued my silent tears
releasing some pain from within

we got home she left me
i sat in my bedroom
stared into the mirror
saw my reflection and whimpered

I'm not as strong as used to be
i cant seem to hide the pain
walking through my life bare
so many secrets escape

this women in my life who left
was a distant figure
who meant so much to me
yet it couldn't be seen

as she left so did my strength
no one will know this though
for my tears are so silent
but this re opened the cuts