One Mans Choice

Thank you both for your input. Although I'm not sure that either of you truly understand my poem. I wrote this not as a poem about war and the hardships that come from it even though that is a subject that deserves plenty of attention. My poem is about peer pressure and how many people fall into submission due to their "friends" suggestions. That is why I wrote "All" in the beginning of each of those sentences. I chose to use repetition of "All" to represent the repetition of peer pressure.

I was going to suggest what Jacklyn said as well....but she already covered it :-)
Good poem over all...I did like the title because it was sort of catchy and made me want to read! Its so sad to hear and see about all these men dieing, but that just gives us more time to pray I guess
great write

P.S would love your feedback on "The green candle in the window"

Krystal,

great poem and yet i agree with what you have put through this poem, there is no need for this kind of killing.

a friendly suggestion for making this poem even better than what you have right now, and good news it's a easy thing to fix as well!

"All those men had fought bravely,
All those wives had cried gravely,
All my friends had told me right,
All this time I needn't fight."

within those four lines you have one word repeated in every single line "all". to the reader this can be distracting and the word can be tiring. the message within your poem would be a lot stronger and bold to the reader, plus it would improve the ending by trying to take some of those out. i try not to repeat the any words every four lines or so.

these men had foughten bravely,
their wives had cried gravely,
my friends had told me right,
All this time I needn't fight.

just an example of what you could possibly do with those lines. just remember this is a friendly suggestion, i use to do this all the time when i first started writing poetry, but i like my poems today like 100% better now that i've gotten help from others.

~take care

~Jacklyn