Bleeding, crying,
Cutting, dying,
Trying to change,
But will they
Ever see me
For who I'm
Becoming, or
Who I once was?
Painting the vibrant
Colors all over my
Once bare face,
Trying to hide
All the pain from
Everyone who
Shall see me?
Maybe one day
If I keep it up,
I will be changed!
Straining all the
Muscles in my
Weak face to
Make something
That resembles
That beautiful,
Big, full smile
That I once had
And getting no
Where close
Picking up my
Normal black attire
And throwing it
Down to the floor,
This day calls
For one of those
Vibrant and lushes
Colored Happy
Bunny T-Shirts
My family always
Tries to get me
To wear,
It calls for me
To do everything
In my power
To look happy.
Walking into the room
They all become silent
Staring straight at me
Like I'm some kind of
Painting hanging on the wall
For all of them to analyz
I walk to my seat and sit down
They still don' say anything
Trying to read what they think
I look at all their scared faces
Like they think I' there to kill
Every last one of them
Do they really think I' be one
Of those kids that would
Come to school to kill everyone
Then take my own life
I hear some of them whisper
They ask each other why
I haven' committed suicide yet
Is that really the person they see me as?
Then one leans in an asks me
Why I'm pretending to be happy
When I've been voted first to die?
I tried to ignore them all day
But I just couldn't
I called my mom and
I begged and pleaded with
Her to take me home
She came, took me and
Went back to work
Like there was nothing
Wrong with me
Does she want me dead too?
Trying not to break,
Trying to organize
All my thoughts
They all know what
I've been through!
The loss of my
Closest friends to
Freegin suicide!
Watching as one
Is raped then
Freegin killed!
Yeah, I'm gonna be
Fine after that,
I'm not gonna be
Messed up in the
Head at all!
They should pay
For making me live
In the past so long!
They should pay!
Throwing all that
Horrible vibrant
Colored make up
Against the wall,
Taking a lighter
To those freegin
Garish clothes.
Gathering up
My guns and bullets,
Sharpening my knife,
Preparing for my
Wonderful revenge!
Dying my hair,
Making it all jet black,
Painting my face,
All pale with
Black lips and eyes
I will be the
Harbinger of death
Praying to my goddess,
Asking for strength
Asking for her help
Walking into the room
Looking around at all
Their confused expressions
That just fad away
As they realize that
I'm back to my normal self
They seem so relaxed
Ripping off my jacket
They all begin to scream
As they see what
They have feared
My guns tucked
In my belt, and
Knife in my bra
Running every which way
They try to get to safety
But it's to late for them!
Shots begin to ring out
Down the narrow halls
A shower of blood and
Bodies fall to the ground
One tries to take my gun
I stab him in the chest
The sirens begin to blare
Time for me to take the last life
My own
For they have all
Paid for the pain they caused
For driving me over the edge
They have paid!
