Thawing Heart

I am just looking for a reason
why do you hug me, so sweet?
I dont deserve affection...
My heart doesnt deserve to beat.

Thoughts drilled in my head
The throbbing deafens my ears.
I scream outloud for help
and no one seems to hear...

You pick me up and hold me
To you its just something fun
To me it is the world and more
Tears fall; my stictches come undone.

I dont want my heart open
I cannot bear this pain again.
I cannot afford to get hurt any more
I must block these feelings within.

I must deny that I love you
because you dont love me....
I hate what Ive become
I just dont see what you see...

So stop calling me beautiful
I am not even close to it
Stop telling me to hold on...
I just want to quit...

Do not hug me...
but do not let me go...
I need you, but dont want you
I have no where left to go...

my tears are now falling
I cannot restrain this flaw
Please, I cant stand this anymore.

...You made my heart thaw...