I found this piece also nice. But there is room for improvement like changing this line
"My true self's life's end comes to a near". With the syllabic count, the flow is affected, you need to revise this line to make it flow better. If you need help I can also suggest how you could do that. But you must try first and let me know.

However your poem is worth 5/5.

TC With love
Fsams