Losing myself to save him

Last night things changed
he kissed me passionately
touched me in places
and made me fall for him badly

he held me in his arms
his chest against mine
his lips so soft and gently
i was his for the night

all the memories of my past
flooded through my mind
voices echoed over and over
like a broken record

but i would never tell him
that my feelings are still unclear
I'm so scared within myself
i cant bare to be with someone

but i still let him call me his
cause i like how it sounds
but I'm not sure if it will last
don't know if i can trust his words

so as i give him myself
i cry endless tears
for i don't know who i am anymore
i don't think I'm real

i want to just let go
tell him how i feel
connect with him and be with him
but i cant I'm scared

i don't know if this is what i want
think I'm losing myself more
i don't know if i ever found myself
i need to know answers

please help me
i cant bare to hurt him
he means so much to me
i don't want to lose him

but if keeping him loses me
then what do i do
I'm confused, need help
i wish things were easy