My Brother

This feeling inside me... I can barley explain... My heart is torn into pieces... and i have little to loose any more... I have no fear... For the one fear I had was loosing you and i just found out that happened last night... They lied to you and told you that I was the one lying... They told you all the bad stuff about me... and now you don't know how to feel... I want you to know though... that i love you very much and if there is anything that i can do for you... tell me and i will make it happen soon... I have to look at all the good times we've had and try to not remember the bad one's... Ella says I shouldn't forget you... but i shouldn't think about you 24/7... I raised you from the time you was born until that one hard day... I remember the day i had to leave you... and I remember it very well... It was November 23 of 2005... We had went to court and they said my dad has custody of me... they told me that you was going to Florida... and that I would be with my dad... I could call you any time and if they would let me i could visit you... And then I had to give you a hug... and tell you that i love you very much... and I wanted you to know... that no matter what happened from there you would always be my baby boy... You'll always have a place in my heart... and as long as you love me.... Ill love you right back...And then it had been 6 months before i saw you again... We had to go back to court... for the final time... It was April 18-19 of 2006... We went to court... and they said my dad having custody of me and Ella was permanent... and they also said that you would be able to move back with your momma and daddy... Ill never forget that day... For I got hurt very much... now all I do... is worry about you... and i love you very much... but i don't know how well you know that anymore... They are gonna make you forget... all about us.... and about all the times... that we've had together... I asked momma one favor... and it was not to tell you... for you was only 7 and she said she wouldn't... but your daddy being the guy he is.. told you that i told the judge... that he was touching me... and you believed that he wasn't... and you took their side... now I'm hurt and crying... for i miss you so much... please don't ever forget.... the love you always got from me... and the love you'll always have...