Sorry i didn't relize

WHAT IF I HAD A KNIFE OR A GUN, WOULD U THINK IT WAS ALL FOR FUN? WOULD U TURN AROUND AND RUN??WOULD GET ONE TOO?PLEASE DONT BECAUSE I STILL LOVE U.I STILL LOVE U EVEN WHEN I LAY HERE IN MY GRAVE WITH THE CUTS THAT ARE ALL OVER MY BODY. AFTER THE SHORT TIME I DID IT I FELT SO NAUGHTY.PLEASE TELL ME THAT EVERY THING WILL BE OK, AND THAT U WILL LIVE ANOTHER DAY, EVEN THO I AM NOT HERE TO PLAY. PLEASE DONT TAKE UR LIFE, I REALLY DIDN'T WANT IT TO END THIS WAY.PLEASE UNDER STAND, THIS IS NOT UR FAULT, MY LIFE JUST NEEDED TO COME TO A HALT.I AM STILL HERE, EVEN THO U CAN'T SEE, I KNOW HOW MUCH U MISS ME. I SEE THE TEARS RUN DOWN UR FACE WHEN U THINK OF THE DISGRACE.BUT WEEKS HAVE SEEMED TO GO BY FAST, AND I KNOW U CAN'T STOP THINKING OF THE PAST, BUT PLEASE WEIGHT STOP I WANT UR LIFE TO LAST!!! NO STOP, PLEASE STOP!!BUT NOW I AM TOO LATE, SOON UR WILL BE RUNNING THOUGH HEAVENS GATE. WAS THIS REALLY UR FATE? I KNOW THIS IS MY FAULT, I ALWAYS KEPT HOW I FELT TO MY SELF , LIKE THEY WHERE LOCKED IN SOME SORT OF TIGHT VAULT. R U HAPPY NOW? R U HAPPY THAT U WITH ME? I AM NOT BECAUSE I FINALLY SEE WHAT I HAVE DONE. I FINALLY SEE WHAT ALL U REALLY WANTED WAS ME, I FEEL SO GUILTY, U GAVE UP UR LIFE JUST FOR ME. OH GOD PLEASE TELL ME Y WAS I IN SUCH A HURRY TO DIE? Y WAS THE ONLY THING I COULD DO WAS CRY? Y COULD I SEE, THAT SOME ONE ACTUALLY WANTED ME? I GUESS, NOW THIS IS ALL JUST A PART PF HISTORY. OH WELL. NOW ALL I CAN SEEM TO SAY IS, SORRY THAT I PUT U IN HELL. i am sorry that when u tried to help all i would do is yell.i am sorry that i never could see what i was sopes to be, and i am sorry that i finally saw that u actually loved me.