ThunderStorm (Ottava Rima)

by LadyPearl   Jul 18, 2006


Knives surrounding my every thought
As the rain pounds against my solemn dreams
There's a thunderstorm inside my heart
Where blood flows freely down my streams
Shredding my dwindling soul apart
Ripping, tearing at the endless seams
Bringing shock to my system of motions
Paralyzing inner defiant emotions

Rivals between thunder and lightning
Echoing within a hollow, shallow mind
Lashing at each other till their ending
When one defeats the other side
Bringing another string of decaying
An uncivil rising and descending tide
A graveyard underneath the power
Where the shadows wait to devour

Darkness and light begins to gamble
For the right of death and forever pain
Testing to see who is the most able
Without being consumed till insane
Drenched in sweat, seen as pitiable
Neither side has lost or gain
All this lies within my very soul
This era inside of lost control
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Ottava Rima is a poem where the stanzas consist of eight
lines each. Each line has a ten -or- eleven syllable count.
The rhyming scheme for Ottava Rima is as follows:

abababcc
dededeff
ghghghii
.. And so on for as many stanzas as you wish.

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Mommy And Me

    Wow.. i really like this poem.. good work :)

  • 18 years ago

    by Robie Lincer

    This poem is awsome! i like the way you used your pwords in there! and the flow was not that bad! you just have the talent! where did you get your talent from!!!!!!???

    keep it up!

  • 18 years ago

    by Megann Lee

    Wow. Very talanted you are Noni. This poem was awesome. I really enjoyed it. I got great images from it aswell.

  • 18 years ago

    by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

    Knives surrounding my every thought
    As the rain pounds against my solemn dreams
    There's a thunderstorm inside my heart
    Where blood flows freely down my
    streams

    [I didn't much like the last line 'streams'...it just didn't seem to fit]

    Darkness and light begins to gamble
    For the right of death and forever pain

    [Nor did I like this line, though there's no just reason]

    But the rest of it, I did like and it was a very creative way of going. Nicely done.

    xDarkSuicidex 5.5

  • 18 years ago

    by Wings Of Flames

    Finally I've read so many attempts at this poem which weren't bad i guess.
    But this was perfect.
    Awesome work Noni.
    Lovein it
    Emah
    5/5