A stretched time

I believe this unique format is very effective at delivering the imagery of metahorical emotions and feelings in this poem

To be perfectly honest I wasn't too keen on the format. One word a line doesn't say enough for me, sorry.
I did like the final two lines very much they served a meaningful ending. Also the image of "sudden / crushed lungs" really stood out to me. So, overall decent poem, just the formating could be better in my opinion. Thanks for sharing.

Wow... that was actually very powerful, yet with a simple tone to it... it had like a deep meaning to it, which was pretty dang kewl! I would say add commas... but that actually... might take away from the way it flows, so perfect job! I'm realy impressed! You did a really good job with this. I dont know I' just really into it lol.=D 5/5

~+Megan+~