Wow... that was actually very powerful, yet with a simple tone to it... it had like a deep meaning to it, which was pretty dang kewl! I would say add commas... but that actually... might take away from the way it flows, so perfect job! I'm realy impressed! You did a really good job with this. I dont know I' just really into it lol.=D 5/5

~+Megan+~

To be perfectly honest I wasn't too keen on the format. One word a line doesn't say enough for me, sorry.
I did like the final two lines very much they served a meaningful ending. Also the image of "sudden / crushed lungs" really stood out to me. So, overall decent poem, just the formating could be better in my opinion. Thanks for sharing.

I believe this unique format is very effective at delivering the imagery of metahorical emotions and feelings in this poem