Yesterday or Suicide?

I do not live in the present
I live in the past and future

For today isn't all that pleasant
I shall live yesterday instead

Even though these moments are incredible
Once they are gone they become unbearable

Missing the beautiful moments are regrettable
I let the shameful ones pass without blinking

As the darkness consumes, I wait
Collect my memories for the undoubtful results

I will continue to live in this weakened state
Erase the memory of what happened between us

Forget about all loss and condemn joy
Get rid of all sorrow and remorse that hungers

Excuse myself from your hurtful ploy
As for two ways out are narrowed to one

Erase all the unwanted gifts i was given
Hide the present with a black inconspicuous curtain

Lock up all madness that was driven
I choose yesterday instead of suicide