One Day . . .

In just my t-shirt
and my underwear,
I stand in my room,
imagining you bare.

But of course,
you are not there.
I start my routine,
let down my hair,

do my stretches,
then start with the kicks--
my old punching bag
sure getting it's licks.

I'm so into it
I don't notice the streaming
tears down my cheeks,
slipping and streaking.

Then onto the punches,
and soon my workout ends.
I'm hot, sweaty, and
tired--the wall lends

me its strength
as I lean against it.
Your image flashes
before me, just for a bit.

I stand over mt trashcan,
then water I pour
all over my head--
some spills to the floor.

It seeps down my neck
cold, waking me,
from my daydream,
reminding me quickly

that I am
in my room, alone.
With a
quiet moan,

I shake it off;
as always,
I'm seeing things.
I can't count how many days

this has happened to me--
these hallucinations
produced from my
wildest imaginations.

But as I strip,
and lie in bed, bare,
I could swear,
I feel you there,

pressing your
body to mine,
warming my shuddering
soul which pines

for you and your
reassurances. Why
are you so real to me?
This is a feeling I

have never
experienced before.
All I know is
all that is sore

is soothed
when I think of you.
All problems
swiftly go and do

not leave me
any regrets.
Until, when you slip away,
my worries and frets

creep back to me.
As I clutch my
body to myself,
I shake and cry,

not from the cold,
but from the repeating
loss--I lose you again
and again--my heart beating

so loud in
my ears--
I feel a hand
brush my tears

away, pull me
ever so close,
whisper those words,
but most

of whatever
i feel
can't be trusted.
Is this real?

How I wish it
to be so.
Every night,
I ask why you had to go.

Baby, don't you know,
forever and always, my heart
has a special plce for you.
And, though I wish we weren't apart,

I know it is better
for you this way.
I don't deserve you,
but each day

I work to be
someone great
so one day,
ever-ironic fate

will reunite us,
once again, and you will see
me as a young woman,
worthy of you, hopefully.

**just a normal night in my room . . .lol