All this pain i feel
is too deep
its too real
it stops my sleep
my dreams have hate
my dreams reveal the truth
i do self mutilate
i do see the truth
my life is shit
my life is rough
i am always pissed
i am just not that tough
you my friend do help
but you see my strife
is for me
my pain is relieved by the blade of that knife
it may seem scary
may seem weird
but it's the only way
i know i am real
don't try to stop me
let me go
let me do what i need to keep inside me
i know it hurts you though
but what you say
what you try to do
is just not helping that way
its my problems
my life is my life only
the cuts on my body
say what words cannot express
and all of my stress
my pain my hate
are relived by self mutilate
i am young
i do need to grow
but see this pain just keeps getting bigger
my tears are like rivers flowing
to help me shed my past my future my life
and that blade of the knife helps too
its me and only me
this is who i wanna be
not who i should or shouldn't be
its me
nothing can change me
nothing can change me
you can try
but don't pressure me
that just makes this pain grow
it makes me feel like i cannot go on
it makes the tears flow
it makes me feel small
i try to fly but i fall
i try to get back up but i fall
i may be gone someday
but not tomorrow or today
just be alert
just be aware
it won't hurt
i swear
john was just a trigger for my pain
he was just a little piece put together to make me go insane
he was a reason to start cutting myself again
to make this life more plain
i may be gone
but i am not yet
i won't lie to you and i say i never will be
cause i am sure i will i bet
i am just waiting for the right time
to make my move
to make all this pain dissapate
to get rid of this hate
i love you
you love me too
right now is all that matters
not tomorrow or the next day
i will be gone
i will be done
but i am not yet
just don't get your hopes up yet
i never said i won't leave this world
i never said i won't stop crying
i never said i would stop cutting through my life
i never stop i would stop the longing to die
i never said i won't stop my habits of cutting
i never said things will get better
i never said i don't want to die
my feeling for suicide are like a dial tone its always there
i said i will try
i said i might not cry
i said i might not cut
i said nothing but but
i still have that knife
i still use it to cut through my strife
i still cry
i still want to die
but my pain and fear are forgotten when i am with you
so take this as a warning and a compliment
i love you and i do care
and i know this isn't fair
but this pain is too deep
its just what i feel
i can never sleep
its just to real
