My Suicide Note Part One

by 111308   Jul 20, 2006


Ok I Know This Poem Is Long...It Has 6 Parts To It...But It's Good...Well At Least I Think...So If You Actually Take Time To Read It...Comment It And Rate It Thanks So Much!

The days gone by,
But my sorrow still lies inside…
It seems that no one can take it away…
And sometimes I just feel so much pain…
I either want to grab the knife and cut myself in the veins…
Or I either try to make all the pain all go down the drain…
By trying to erase it from my brain…
I don’t know what to do anymore….
Life is just getting so hard…
Why can’t anything turn out right?
I’m tired of everything just turning out so wrong…
This is my suicidal note to all the ones I love because I can’t take all this pain and I want it to all go away…
And here’s how I feel written in words….
All the truth will be told…
For you all to know…
Why does no one love me and care for me?
Why doesn’t anyone just tell me to go die?
Why all I do is cry?
Why does my life cause me so much pain?
And all of the pain it just leaks all into my veins?
Why can’t I just die…
And have everything I loved or hated go down the drain..?
Away from my brain….
Why do my parents treat me so bad..?
The only time there good to me is when they want something…
Why do they make up stupid lies to make me cry?..
Why do they say stupid things to me that hurt me so they can torture me..?
And see me die…inside…
So that they can get a kick out of seeing my life collide…
Why do they abuse me so..?
And why can’t I just run away and leave them all alone….
But I’d know if they’d find me and were angry…
They’d hurt me even more….
Why do they cheat and lie?
Why can’t they see that all I want them to be is together?
For them to be happy…
And actually love and care for me….
Why can’t I be the perfect little girl?
That’d they’d want to hold…
And always want to be with….
Why can’t I be the one that goes everywhere with them…
Like go shopping together…
Talk about our problems together…
Even maybe go on vacations together…
Can’t you see all your doing is killing me……
I just want to be free…
Free from all this pain and misery….
I just want my parents…
My beloved parents to know…
That I love them so….
And that’s why…
I had to go…
Had to leave this place…
And let go of all the torturous treasures that are unknown…
And maybe just maybe….
There life would be better without me…

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Samantha Hollywood

    Steph --
    Hey. After reading this, I`m not so sure I want to read the next 5 sequals. I was really impressed by the rhyming the first couple of lines - the flow was kind of iffy, but the rhyming was pretty good. Then somewhere after about 6 lines, nothing rhymed at all, and the flow just kept getting worse. It really made it hard for the reader, you should put this into stanzas. Some of your lines ran too long, and some ran too short. Some just made no sense. I would highly consider revising this, reformatting it, and maybe not having 5 sequals. It makes the whole "suicide" part kind of dramatic, don`t you think?
    3/5
    Samantha Hollywood

  • 18 years ago

    by Darien

    "The days gone by,
    But my sorrow still lies inside…"

    [The days go by,
    but my sorrow still lie inside]

    "I either want to grab the knife and cut myself in the veins…"
    [.. the knife and cut my veins...]

    "Or I either try to make all the pain all go down the drain…"
    [Or try to make all the pain go down the drain]

    "And all of the pain it just leaks all into my veins?"
    [... it just leaks into my veins?]

    "The only time there good to me is when they want something…"
    ["they're"]

    "There life would be better without me… "
    ["Their"]

    The poem was alright. You should follow the suggestions I made, it will be a lot more nicer to read. There were good rhymes, and it seemed to flow pretty good. Overall a good poem, just clean it up a bit :)

  • 18 years ago

    by hayley

    Good poem. and i read all the other parts, so i meen the WHOLE poem, lol!
    anyways.....it worries me in a way. u really wanna die?

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