My Suicidal Note Part Two

by 111308   Jul 20, 2006


Why can’t you just love me…?
You talk about me…
You say you care about me…
You say some things to me….
And you say how you wish you were right here with me…
But I know it’s not true…
Everything is a lie….
My whole life is a lie…
All people do is tell me lies….
And in the end it turns around and makes me cry…and wish to die inside….
I want to be there next to you…
I want your touch and your love…
I want to feel your gentle lips…
Touch my finger tips…
I want to feel you all around me…
On me….
I want you to belong to me…
I want you to hold me…
I want you to own me….
I want you to kiss my lips, my neck and more…
Until we touch the floor…
I want to feel your hands caress me…
I want you to take advantage of me…
I want to be all yours…
Until the end of time…
You’ll always be on my mind…
I know where meant to be…
But you just can’t see…
How much I love you…
And want to be with you…
Your too blind….
And it hurts me so much…
That your not here with me…
And I can’t feel that gentle touch…
I love you and I just want you to know…
I hope you loved me too…
And I’m sorry I had to go…
And leave you all alone…
But I just couldn’t stand this…
Pain of the unkind world…
And to the biggest man I know…..
Why’d you have to be so cruel….
And take away the one thing I now miss most…
Derek….
I know you must need him more than I do…
But boy,….
Do I miss him so…
And I really wished he didn’t have to go…
I wish he didn’t have to leave so soon…
But why do I have to miss him so much?
I miss his gentle touch…
Can’t he just be back here with me…?
Just for one more night…?
So I could hold him tight….
For just one last time….
And so then I could say the things to him that I never got to say…
The night he went away…
Left this place….
That I held so deep inside my torturous life…
That tares me like a thousand knives….
But again if I killed myself…
I’d get to see his face…
And I’d be in a new place….
And maybe…
Just maybe…
It’d be great….
I miss you so much…
And I hope to see you soon…
Until the day I die…
I’ll always keep you in my mind…
And I’ll never forget you….
Never……
Derek…..
I’ll never forget you….
Ever….

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Darien

    You ask a lot of questions in those two poems. You really seem to be clueless as to why your parents are doing what they are, and to why you are hurting so much. I think you need to look deep within yourself and find those answers for yourself. You obviously are holding on, otherwise you would have killed yourself already. I hope you do't. Hope you reconsider everything. Good luck.

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