My Suicidal Note Part Three

But now let’s go on with my life…
Everything I do it…Just seems to turn out wrong…
Why can’t I do anything right…..?..
Why do I still regret that night…
That night that man did something so cruel to such a young girl…
It’s all my fault…
I should’ve known….
I shouldn’t have let her go…
Especially all alone…
It makes me cry all the time…
Knowing I could’ve stopped it…
Stopped it from happening…
I was just 6.…
But I should’ve known…
She had to go pee….
She couldn’t hold it any longer…
I thought my neighbor I could’ve trusted….
I’m the one who showed her into his house…
He said he’d show her where the bathroom was…
I should’ve looked into his eyes to see what he was up to….
I waited patiently….
Although… It was taking him and her so long….
She came out…
Followed behid him….
She looked so scared….
So sad….
We left and decided to go home…
I asked her what’s wrong…..
And she couldn’t speak….
She was so scared….
She was afraid…
She was violated….
This little girl didn’t say much….
About what had happened…
Until later on…
And she didn’t speak for years….
She was a mute child for so long…
She had to go to a counselor and a speech therapist..
She then told her mom what had happened….
And that’s when I found out….
This little girl is my sister….
And it’s all my fault….
It’s all my fault my sister got hurt…
I should’ve been a big sister…
And should’ve known…
I thought I could’ve trusted our neighbor…
I was only 6.…
But I still should’ve known…
It’s all my fault…
I don’t know what I shall say to my sister….
I want to say sorry everyday….
But I don’t want to bring it up and hurt her so much…
Ugh…everything is my fault….
And that’s why no one would miss me if I decided to leave and be gone…
I see a girl…