My Suicidal Note Part Five

She sees her sharp glittery thing….
Her sharp blade….
Her only true friend….
She takes it out…
It’s got little red stains on it that wouldn’t come off from the last times….
She takes it and grasps it in her hand…
She’s so ashamed of herself….
For doing this every night…
Why can’t she just try to win the fight….
The fight to stop this obsession…
She rolls up her sleeves up to her elbows…
And she sees the deeply engraved scars left on her arms that she keeps hidden under her sweatshirts…
There so deep….
She can run her fingers down her arms…
And feel the indents…
She stops thinking about her scars…
She goes up to her bedroom window just so she can look up at the stars just one last time…
She makes a wish…
Her wish that she said loudly to the sky…
“Please…..Tonight…Just let everything go right….Please just let me end my life right…Tonight…Please…I can’t take this anymore…”
She gets on her bed….
And she gets comfortable…
And she grabs her blade again….
She takes it trembling scared this time because she really wanted to end her life….
She takes it and starts to go down her vein…
Very lightly she does this….
Then she realizes this isn’t going to help…
She has to feel the pain….
To end her life….
With the knife…