I dont want to do this anymore

As I am sitting here,
I started to cry,
I am crying cuz of pain I am in,
No one will understand,
That I missed up my life so bad,
I don\'t know where to started,
I wish sumone can understand,
But they just turned away,
Or say to me everthing is going to be alright,
But I know its not,
It will never be alright to me,
I wish they can see,
Throught my eyes,
There are alot of pain,
I am holding back,
I put fake smiles on my face,
Alot,
I am surprise they don\'t know it,
I act happy and hyper around my friends and family,
But when I am alone I started to cry,
I wish they know how much pain I am in,
But they dont,
They just walked away from me,
When I am trying to talk to them,
I am tired of being hurt so much,
I dony want to do this anymore.