Wow! This is an incredible piece. Having lived this scene out many a time in my life, you captured its raw power and essence. Great poem.

I would change one thing for flow, but that is just my humble opinion...

These lines:

Secret trysts in rented rooms
They will chance their lust
And meet their doom

I would change to:

Secret tryst in a rented room
They will chance their lust
Meeting their doom

Then again, what the heck do I know. Great poem!

Hi Loretta,

First I must say the title of your poem just made me have to read it!!!! I really think this was very well written.

Connie