Feeling Rejected

A shadow I lurk in
a closet to hide in,
feeling rejected
and misunderstood.
wanting to slit my wrist.
so I can ease my pain.
crying my eyes out
day in and day out.
why did this happen?
why cant I control it at all?
I cant point the finger at you.
so why do I say sorry for what I didn't do?
am I too nice?
do I like to be hurt?
is that what it is?
Do I love for people to break my heart
and tear it out of my body,
leaving me lifeless.
or is it that I feel responsible
for everything that happens to me.
either way, I think I deserve better.
I may not be beautiful,
but I need to be treated better
©Amber Gomez